Resilient Love
Sandra Porter’s journey as a parent isn’t one of perfection, but one of persistence and strength.
When Sandra’s three children entered foster care amid her battle with addiction following a car accident, Sandra knew they would return to her care.
With support from a life-changing caseworker and a foster mom determined to reunify the children she cared for, Sandra’s two-year battle to get clean and provide a safe, loving home for her three kids showcases the often shadowed beauty of the foster care system.
When Sandra’s kids were 11, one, and a newborn, a car accident led to a painkiller prescription and subsequent addiction. Paris, Preston, and Joshua were placed into foster care together as Sandra began her journey toward reunification.
“I was really scared because I felt like these people wanted my kids, but now I know they were just there to help me get my life together,” Sandra said. “I am so grateful for that.”
The Village That Brought Them Home
The kids were placed with Carie, a seasoned foster parent, while Sandra was connected with LaDonna, her caseworker. The combination of Carie supporting Sandra at doctor’s appointments and NICU visits and LaDonna holding Sandra accountable to get clean created the ultimate support system for the Porter family.
“[Carie] had never met anyone who was addicted to drugs, trying to stay clean, and get their kids back, so she learned a lot from me, and I learned a lot from her. She always had my back,” Sandra said.
While leaning on Carie for help with caring for her children, Sandra relied on LaDonna to hold her accountable.
LaDonna often told Sandra that 10% of parents are reunified with their children.* For Sandra, that was exactly the motivation she needed to work hard, get clean, and be the mom she knew she could be for her kids.
“I knew, at that point, that I was going to be that 10% no matter what,” Sandra said.
From The Ground Up
The hardest part of the reunification process, Sandra said, was starting from rock bottom. Despite having the absolute goal of getting her children back, many of the days when her kids were in care were the hardest of Sandra’s life. From detoxing to securing permanent living to obtaining reliable transportation to appointments, nothing was easy.
In life, though, the most beautiful things don’t come easily.
Sandra’s children, Paris and Preston, were temporarily relocated to live with their father, while Joshua remained with Carie.
After about two years out of her care, Paris and Preston returned to live with Sandra. Two-year-old Joshua was the final child to return home, and Sandra remembers hugging and crying with LaDonna on that day, knowing she was the 10%. It was one of the best days of her life, Sandra said.
“LaDonna said there was never a time when she didn’t think I would get my kids back,” Sandra recounted. “There were times that it was rocky and it was hard, but she always knew that I could do it. She was the best social worker I could’ve ever asked for.”
The Light After Loss
After experiencing the pain of addiction and the loss of her children from her care, Sandra is forever grateful to the people of the foster care community and the support given to her in a time of need.
Sandra has been free of drugs for over nine years and has watched her three children continue to grow up in a home where they are safe and loved deeply by both of their parents.
“If there is one thing I’d like people to know, it’s that not all foster parents want to take your kids. They really want you to be a better parent and help you be good to the little humans you’ve made,” Sandra said. “I’m forever grateful for having a foster family that really cared about my kids. No matter what, we always knew that reunification was what we had planned.”
*In 2023, 51.9% of children who entered foster care were reunited with their parent or primary caregiver. (U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, 2023)
This true story is brought to you by The Porter Family. If you or someone you know is a foster family and are interested in sharing your story with us, please visit Tell Your Story.
Created by Keeley Lamm, Bananas Foster